Rite of Passage

Children and Youth = Rite of Passage

What is ROP?

At MPBC, we believe in raising and training our children to become Christ-centered young adults. We do this by what we call: Rite of Passage (ROP). ROP is not really a program, but a lifestyle where families seek to raise champions for Christ in a more and more secular and pagan world. ROP seeks to be a tool for parents as they seek to be intentional in bringing their child to a place of embracing Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and help them to mature into young adulthood.

 

During the summer months at MPBC anyone between the ages of 12-18 can participate in ROP. The summer allows for time to complete the assignments. The ultimate goal of ROP is to help families to understand the benefits of teaching and training at home and integrating our young adults into the body life of the church.

 

ROP is then celebrated with an annual banquet in August, followed by a recognition service in the church. It’s during this recognition service that we acknowledge the fact that these young adults have completed a wonderful process of understanding what the Bible teaches about accepting adult responsibilities and growing in their faith in Jesus. It’s always exciting to see the ceremonial “Baton Pass” as the parents pass the baton of faith in Jesus to their young adults, signifying their ownership of their faith.

ROP

3 John 4 says, “I have no greater joy than to hear my children are walking in the truth.” And that’s the goal of ROP!

The Purpose:

We like to describe ROP as a lifestyle where parents blend loving words and caring actions with the help of the church, which culminates into a meaningful ceremony where the church family celebrates the completion of ROP. This time in their lives can provide a stabilizing point for the rest of the young person’s life. Perhaps most of all, it gives our young men and young women the tangible knowledge that the blessing of their family and God is upon them. What we seek to accomplish through ROP for our young adults is:

  • To affirm the claims of Christ in his/her life
  • To discern the true values of life according to the Scriptures and to be able to live by them
  • To practice the presence of Christ by having a consistent time of Bible study and prayer to the Lord
  • To be able to accept himself/herself as God created him and to take joy in His purposes
  • To affirm and experience the joy of obedience to God by being obedient and respectful to their parents
  • To be an exemplary role model so that others will want to know the Lord Jesus because of his/her testimony

 

Through ROP, we seek to help our young adults to have a better understanding of the basic ministries of the church and to cultivate within them an interest in using their talents for God. The key is involvement. Young people learn best by “doing,” not by being entertained. We want our young adults to see themselves as a significant part of God’s family; and as such, they can make important contributions to their home and the church.

 

The Process:

Upon determining that a young adult will participate in our annual ROP, they choose to complete the following questions. These questions aren’t graded but are used to provide a biblical understanding of what it means to be a Christ-Centered Young Adult.

 

Rite of Passage Preparation Questions

Parents are encouraged to help their young adults with these questions…but NOT to do the questions for them. They will get out of this what they put into it. ROP is a special time for them and the family. If done right…this process requires 8-10 hours to complete (on average). These questions come from Pastor Kevin’s book: “Rite of Passage, Raising Christ-Centered Young Adults.” Free copies in the Decision Room in the auditorium. https://www.amazon.com/Rite-Passage-Home-Church-Christ-Centered/dp/1893729958

 

Preparation Questions:

  1. How does a person become a Christian (a born-again, believer and follower of Christ)? Use Scripture references to support your answer. Also, describe in detail your salvation experience and what led to you surrendering your life to the Lordship of Christ. Please be detailed and specific.
  2. Describe your relationship with Christ. Indicate what you are doing to grow in your knowledge and understanding of Christ. Indicate if you have a daily time of personal prayer time and Bible study. In other words, when, where and how do you spend time with the Lord? (Please note, if you are spending little or no time praying and reading your Bible, you are more than likely not ready to proceed with ROP at this time.)
  3. What does it mean to act like and behave like an adult? (For the young man, please read 1 Tim. 3:1-11, Judges 3:12-30, 2 Tim. 2:22-25, Titus 1:6-9, Titus 2:1-8. For the young woman, please read Prov. 31:10-31, 2 Timothy 2:22-25, Titus 2:1-8.)
  4. Explain in your own words Luke 2:41-52 and the example set forth by Jesus in this passage.
  5. What do you believe about the Bible? What role should read the Scriptures on a consistent basis play in your life? Why? (See 2 Tim. 2:15, 2 Tim. 3:14-17.)
  6. How do you know the Bible is truly the Word of God and not just another “holy” book like the Koran or the Book of Mormon? (See 2 Peter 1:20-21. I would also encourage you to visit these websites at the links below. gotquestions.org: https://www.gotquestions.org/why-should-I-believe-the-Bible.html Sean McDowell’s website: https://seanmcdowell.org/blog/7-fascinating-facts-that-make-the-bible-unique or John Stonestreet and J. Warner Wallace: https://breakpoint.org/from-reliable-to-divine/
  7. Please review in detail these Scriptures about heeding instruction and correction from your parents: Prov. 10:17, Prov. 12:1 and Prov. 15:32. What does it mean to be obedient and to honor your parents? (Eph. 6:1-3.) What is promised to you if you honor and obey your parents? Give examples of how you specifically honor your parents.
  8. In light of your understanding of the passages listed in the question above, how should you speak to your parents and others (i.e., tone of voice, body language, facial expression, etc.)? Please see Prov. 15:1, Prov. 17:14 and Prov. 30:17, James 1:19-20, Prov. 29:20, Prov. 17:28, Prov. 12:22.
  9. What does the Bible say about parents disciplining their children? Please read the following Scriptures before answering: Heb. 12:5-11, Prov. 3:11, Prov. 12:1, Prov. 13:1, Prov. 13:18, Prov. 13:24, Prov. 15:10, Prov. 16:20, Prov. 19:18, Prov. 20:6, Prov. 22:6, Prov. 22:15, Prov. 23:13-14, Prov. 29:15-17).
  10. After reading the following passages, explain what the Bible teaches about espousal, courtship, relationships, and marriage. List each of these passages of Scripture specifically in your answer with explanations to follow. (1 Thess. 4:1-8, Matt. 1:18-25, Gen. 24, Gen. 39, Titus 2:14, Eph. 5:3, Gal. 6:7-10, 1 Cor. 10:13, 2 Cor. 11:2, Prov. 4:23, Prov. 5, Prov. 6:20-35, Prov. 7, Rom. 13:11-14, 1 Cor. 7, 2 Cor. 6:14-16, Eph. 5:21-33.) Parents, I encourage you to get my book, “To Date or Not to Date” from the Decision Room.

It’s a concise 35-page book on what the Bible says about relationships. https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/to-date-or-not-to-date-d-kevin-brown/1118955222

  1. After reading the following passages: Prov. 23:4-5, 2 Cor. 8:1-15, 2 Cor. 9:6-15, Luke 6:38, Matt. 6:19-34; Luke 12:13-21, 1 Tim. 6:6-10, 17-19: please answer these questions: What does it mean to be responsible with money? What can happen to a person that is greedy for money? Do you give your money to God’s work? Why or why not?
  2. Is there a cost to following Christ? See Matt. 10:32-39, Matt. 16:24-26, Luke 14:25-35. Be specific, please.
  3. What does the Bible teach you to do if you have offended someone (even if it’s unknowingly)? See Matt. 5:21-26. What should you do if someone sins against you? See Matt. 18:15-20.
  4. What type of friends should a young adult have? Answer in relation to the Scriptures recorded in Psalm 1, Prov. 13:20, and 1 Cor. 15:33.
  5. What specific characteristics does the Bible say a young adult should have? See 1 Tim. 4:12, Psalm 119:9-11. (1 Tim. 4:12 is perhaps one of the most important you will explain in the ROP process. I encourage you to memorize it.)
  6. In light of the above question, write a detailed description of what it means to be a young man or young woman who is 100% committed to the Lordship of Jesus Christ in their lives. In other words, what would that young person look like, act like, talk like, and be like? Please think about your answer carefully. As you write the answer to this question, honestly evaluate if you are this kind of dedicated follower and disciple of Christ.
  7. If you were told you were going to die in just two weeks, how would you spend the remainder of your life? What would you do? What specific changes or adjustments in your priorities do you need to make in order to draw closer to Christ and be what he wants you to be?
  8. Statistics show 70% to 92% of all Christian young people, who were raised in the church, will abandon their faith by their 20th birthday. Why do you think this is so and do you think this could happen to you? Why or why not?
  9. What is it that you sense the Lord desires for you to do to become an active participant in this church? In other words, how has God gifted you that you may be used to further His work in this church and this community?
  10. Discover your family history. Find out more about whom you are by learning about, where your great-grandparents were from and who they were. Document your great-grandparents' names, where they were from, and what you can find out about them. If possible, locate pictures of them and make copies of them. List something you didn’t know about your family.

 

Background for ROP:

ROP is something the Lord laid on Pastor Kevin’s heart back in 2006. At that point, for the previous 15+ years, he had taught at MPBC, primarily the youth class (6th-12th grades). However, as the years went along, he noticed a problem. Many of the young people, upon leaving for college or work, were dropping out of church. Pastor Kevin said, “I had to stop and think and really take an honest and objective look at the results we were getting from our children and youth ministries because what I was seeing was extremely disappointing. I was beginning to see statistics reported by George Barna Research and Josh McDowell Ministries that showed we were losing our Christian young people, by and large, by the time they turned 20 years of age.” Ask almost anyone who has worked in youth ministry for longer than a decade to try and identify as “church goers” more than 30-40% of the students they taught 10 years after they graduated from their program.

It was at that point Pastor Kevin became convinced that we must raise the bar and integrate our children and young adults, (teens), into the total life of the church. It’s then, that he wrote this book:

Copies are available for free at the church in the auditorium in the Decision Room. The premise of the book at the ministry of ROP at MPBC is this: the overall objective in youth work must be to lead teenagers to Christian maturity, 1 Tim 4:12. If we’re not leading them to mature Christian adulthood, we’re essentially spinning our wheels by spending a lot of time and money on activities and staff, but ultimately, we’re failing to accomplish God’s objective for teens: maturity that leads to adulthood.

The Four Commitments of ROP:

  1. Resist the temptation to give in, promote and push an “adolescent” approach to youth ministry.

In the many years Pastor Kevin taught youth (and at the same time, his wife Pam, led the Children’s ministries), they noticed the tremendous drop-out problem for the teens after they graduated High School. Subsequently, after studying through Scripture (as noted in the questions above), and also being encouraged by the writings of Dr. Voddie Baucham, principally his book: “Family Driven Faith,” https://www.voddiebaucham.org/books/ and Dr. David Black’s, (Professor of New Testament and Greek at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, NC), writings via his blog, http://blog.daveblackonline.com/, Pastor Kevin knew it was time to make a change. In fact, it was Dr. Black who wrote the foreword to Pastor Kevin’s book. It was Dr. Black, whom Pastor Kevin considers a dear friend and mentor, who inspired Pastor Kevin to write his book, having been inspired by Dr. Black’s book “The Myth of Adolescence.” https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Adolescence-Responsible-Children-Irresponsible/dp/1891833510. These books changed Pastor Kevin’s understanding of children and youth ministry.

For example, in Dr. Black’s book, he details and defines what the Bible teaches about the stages of life. Did you know the Bible has nothing to say about an “adolescent” stage in life? In Scripture, there are babies, children, and adults. Dr. Black says: “Unfortunately, in our society, adolescence has become a waiting period of leisure with few responsibilities and little or no meaningful contact with adults for our young people. This isolation from adults is one of the most harmful developments of adolescence and has provided a breeding ground for the rampant feeling of alienation among our youth today. Most youth ministries have their own Sunday School, youth missions, youth small groups, youth worship, youth evangelism teams, youth choir, youth discipleship programs, youth retreats, and youth outings, which isolate the youth into their own independent subgroup in the church. They believe doing so will better instill into them Christian values. Unfortunately, the truth is that this solution is often worse than the original problem.”

Could it be that a pattern of being “entertained” and not “integrated” into the body life of the church, (which involves responsibility, not just fun and games) has led, at least in part, to the abysmal statistics noted earlier? At MPBC, we have chosen to focus on helping young people make the transition from childhood into adulthood spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. We do not have a youth pastor, because we believe the Bible teaches that the ultimate responsibility for raising our children spiritually rests on the shoulders of the parents (Ephesians 6:1-4, Deut. 6:1-10, Hebrews 12:5-11). MPBC also has chosen not to have a “children’s church,” or a nursery. We’re convinced the Church, when meeting, always did so as a family of families. There was no segregation. Everyone was together. A great article on this is: “The Family Together in God’s Presence,” by John and Noel Piper. It’s very insightful and helpful. https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-family-together-in-gods-presence

MPBC is always available to come alongside and help families do the vital and eternal work of raising children to follow Christ. But we will be careful not to do the work for them, or inadvertently give them the impression: “Bring your kids to us and we’ll raise them spiritually.” We also believe it is important to help integrate young people who don’t have parents active in the church. We do so by “adopting” them into our families within the church and we seek to help mentor them, (Titus 2), by showing them what a biblical family structure looks like in real life.

  1. Integrate teens with adults in every typical church setting and activity.

This is a step that most churches are afraid to take. Why? Because the culture has split our children into “graded” categories in everything they do…from school to teams and yes; even in the church. Former youth pastor, Mark DeVries has written two excellent books on the subject: “Family-Based Youth Ministry” and “Partnering with Parents in Youth Ministry.”

In his book “Family-Based Youth Ministry,’ he says: “Teenagers will not learn the skills required of mature adults in a peer-centered youth Sunday-school class. They will not learn these skills by talking with their friends. The process occurs as the less mature repeatedly have the opportunity to observe, dialogue, and collaborate with the more mature.” We not only believe this is true but have witnessed it first-hand. Therefore, we have chosen to integrate our young adults into a Sunday School, (Bible Study), class that is led by adults. This class is called a “Mentoring Class.” This model is taken from Scripture as Jesus modeled discipleship to His young Apostles (whom, scholars tell us were mostly teenagers other than Peter, who was married), and Paul with Timothy and Titus.

We are seeing wonderful results from implementing the Scriptures in the model I’ve described. We are committed to strengthening families by keeping them together as much as possible. We don’t over-schedule so we can allow families time to truly be families during the week. We have found, regarding our teens, that when teenagers are treated with the respect and the significance due to young adults and are channeled toward ministry, they rise to the occasion and spiritually flourish.

We work very hard to provide activities that allow participation with adults and in family-oriented settings. The goal is NOT just to group the young adults together for “play” or “entertainment,” which could reinforce to them that they have an identity separate from the rest of the adult community. It is not our belief that God does not work in youth groups, but rather He can accomplish more when teens are involved in the body life of the church. Therefore, we seek to integrate our young adults (12 and older) by encouraging them to:

  • attend “adult” Sunday school
  • help with our audio/visual team (running cameras, etc.)
  • sing with the adult choir
  • participate in the church praise team (after an audition)
  • help assist in children’s Sunday School classes
  • serve as a part of our Hospitality Team, serving coffee and donuts on Sundays
  • serve as greeters as part of our Guest Services Team on Sundays
  • volunteer in Vacation Bible School
  • volunteer on the church photography team
  • volunteer with our Cares Ministry in reaching out to the shut-ins and homebound of the church
  • serve in our Saturate USA annual community outreach event
  • serve as coaches, referees, concession workers, etc. in our fall and spring soccer leagues
  • assist with our annual Independence Celebration, Trunk or Treat, Women’s Festival of Tables
  • participate with their families in our mission work/trips in TX/Mexico, Albania, Philippines, etc.

What has this done for our church over the last 15+ years? It’s transformed our young people! They have “ownership” in what is going on. It’s not just the church they “attend,” it’s the church that they’re allowed to participate and be involved. They say, “It’s MY CHURCH,” instead of “my parent’s church,” or “where I go to church.” If a young person, (or anyone for that matter), feels like they are making a difference and have a stake in what’s going on in the church, they will be much less likely to abandon the church when they graduate. We believe this involvement with other adults sends the message that we believe our young adults can do great things. It’s been our observation that keeping teens with their peers only, often keeps them trapped in immaturity. On the other hand, young people who have been fortified with significant adult relationships are consistently the ones who exhibit responsible behavior and who are able to resist involvement in negative behaviors such as rebellion, drug/alcohol abuse, and promiscuity.

  1. Reject the myth that healthy development among youth requires a strong break with their parents.

Although peers exercise some control over a teen’s choice of dress, music, and entertainment, it’s only when parents are extremely negligent that peers exercise more control over the teen’s choice of beliefs and relational styles. It remains a fact that in the vast majority of cases, parents remain the single most important influence in the development of a teen’s character and personality.

As we think about raising Christ-centered young adults, does offering more concerts, camps, lock-ins, pizza blasts, zip-lines, ski trips, and the like stand to give us spiritually mature young adults? No, not if that’s all we give them. A steady diet of activities and fun is not what they need or want. Our society’s youth orientation has bred little more than young adults hyped up on the junk food of entertainment and fun, yet they are starving to death and dying for answers to the difficult and tough questions of the day. Our young people sit in our churches week after week and we see them, but are they really there? Are they really engaged? Do they want to be at church or are they just coming because they have to or because they’ve been lured by the fun and games?

When we totally separate our young adults from the rest of the church body, we are setting them up for an identity crisis. They don’t know who they are apart from their friends and buddies in the youth group. They know nothing of the functioning of the church, as a whole, outside of their youth room. After all, they have their own culture and music, geared to their own tastes. So, by the time they are 18 and we tell them they must leave our youth groups, they are sent to the “grown up, or Big church” where in some cases many have never even been. It is culture shock, to say the least!

Despite all of this, some may think that: “Well, this sounds like no fun at all!” Well, there’s certainly nothing wrong with having fun. In fact, if you take a look at what we do for our children and young adults on our “Events” and “Get Involved” pages you’ll quickly see how much we love our kids and have a lot of fun doing it! No, we’re not against anyone having fun, but is this the role of the church? Are we supposed to set up our churches to be centers for having fun? Somehow, through the years, we have begun to think that our teenagers are entitled to having fun when they come to church.

The purpose of the church is the gathering of believers (Ecclesia) to be equipped and trained for works of ministry (Ephesians 4:11-16). Some youth pastors have described the feeling of being like a “Cruise ship Activities Director” Being asked all the time: “When’s the next event? What are we eating, pizza or hotdogs?” No wonder we have such a high turnover rate with youth ministers/pastors. It is easy to burn out after two or three years of this kind of activity planning. It seemed to always be about numbers or attendance.

Perhaps we should be asking: “Are our young adults growing in their faith?” Unfortunately, sometimes youth groups in our churches can foster a negative environment. How? Often at youth events, some sort of crowd control is needed so that someone can be able to teach (“All cell phones here please.” 🙂 ). We also know that often our young people tend to find their identity in their friends or what they wear, what kind of phone they have, how many friends they have on social media, or what they drive, etc. Unfortunately, if you aren’t popular at school, you’re not likely going to be popular in the youth group. Often youth groups aren’t the safe spaces people want them to be. Peer-driven hierarchies can still dominate.

Through the years, larger churches have chosen not to have their young people with adults until they graduate high school. They have their own children’s church, youth church…in their own buildings or rooms, and we know that keeps the services in the “Big Church” easier to attend and less distracting. However, that’s not a biblical model. Try as we might, we’ll never find the segregation of the children and youth from the rest of the body (Ecclesia) on the Lord’s Day. You always see the church family worshipping together.

  1. Realizing ROP is not something “new,” but something “old” that comes from the Bible.

ROP is not a “new” model or philosophy for youth ministry. It’s a return to God’s design for the church as detailed in Scripture (Luke 2, Deut. 6, Heb. 12, Eph. 6, and the Proverbs). We know that Jesus had no organizational chart or curriculum. His priority was to call his youthful disciples “to be with him” (Mark 3:14). Jesus’ ministry was relational, and ours should be the same. The Christian faith becomes real to teenagers when they see it lived out in real-life situations. In short, an adult-centered youth ministry is not about creating special programming for young people. The goal is to provide them with the kind of foundational relationships with Christian adults that will lead to spiritual maturity.

During their teen years, young adults are often told they’re not needed by society, yet they have a desire to “belong” to a community. Thus, while waiting for “adult” status, as defined by their culture, they need to have a sense of belonging to a group of people they respect and from whom they can receive recognition. We want to create an environment where young adults want to belong and are valued as contributing members of the church.

What we see in Scripture is the power of mentorship, (Titus 2). For years, even in our secular culture, one had to become an apprentice before he/she could work a job. He/she had to be trained and equipped by an elder who was seasoned, experienced, and knowledgeable. The same is true in the church. Churches should work to promote cross-generational interaction as Paul admonished Titus. In separating the youth from the church body at large, we are in essence saying, “Unlike adults, they probably can’t handle the weighty things of Scripture.” That’s simply not true.

Just as we expect teenagers to drive a car and work a job, learn algebra, chemistry, and calculus in school, we can also expect to learn about the things of God, study Scripture, learn to serve, versus just being served. It is beneficial to encourage students to interact with all age groups just as they will do after they have graduated from school. By and large, only in our schools and churches are our young adults segregated by age. This philosophy is a product of the industrial revolution and is not based on biblical premises.

We have chosen to shift from a consumer-driven focus regarding our young people to a partner-driven focus. In other words, our church doesn’t see it as our responsibility to give young people or children something to do to keep them out of trouble. The church should not be a place where kids are dropped off to let the pastors train them or give them a little faith development, or so we can keep them out of trouble. This consumer mentality will not develop champions for Christ. ROP is quite simply a way of saying, “We’re expecting parents to raise their children in the admonition and instruction of the Lord, and we at MPBC will do all we can to help equip and train our ‘family of families.’”

3 John 4: “I have not greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”

For more information, or if you have questions, please contact Pastor Kevin at [email protected].